My Life's Line

HugZ And KiseS Mummy..

2008-11-28T06:21:00.000-08:00

I am no clue how you’ve stand my everydays conduct, how you coped down my irresponsible grumpiness, how you listen to me complaint about the most silly thing in the world and still gave me a piece of your mind and advice. I remember how kept silent about things that’s daddy gonna be mad at me from him and days when I fell sick u wouldn’t sleep but to watch me sleep. When you lower down the volume when I sing and told me how bad I sang but I knew u love it every time I sing.

Mum.. I Love you Most.

BlogThings 2 !

2008-07-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Got into blogthings again...
saw a quite interesting one...
Whats Your name's Hidden Meaning..

find it quite true...
but its just media i suppose...
here...
What Jacky Chai Means You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

The Ultimate Quiz..

2008-06-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

yea...wondering why i named this "THE ULTIMATE QUIZ" ?

read it for yourself..
solve it write me a comment.. i'll take it...=p
its just a really confusing article i took from a friend of mine..
thanks adel... =p

here....

3 boys went to stay in a hostel. One night's stay costs RM30. They took one room and shared for the night, each boy paying RM10. When the receptionist rechecked the payment, it was actually only RM25 for that night, not RM30. This means the boys paid an extra cash of RM5.

Being honest, the receptionist called the bellboy on duty to return the RM5 to the boys. The bellboy thought to himself, how could he divide RM5 among 3 boys? It would be unfair to give RM2 to Boy1, RM2 to Boy2, and RM1 to Boy3. So he decided to keep RM2 as tip, and divided RM3 equally among the boys. Each boy got a refund of RM1, meaning they each paid RM9 for the stay, amounting to RM27. (RM9 x 3boys = RM27)

So if you count carefully, RM27 + RM2(bellboy self-tip) = RM29. But they paid RM30 earlier that time. So what happened to the other RM1?

still wondering is there anyone out there who can solve this crazy yet confusing question..

where not teachers can solve.

True Love ?? i DouBt So...

2008-06-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

i was kinda busy body when i saw this so called
"blogthings" there my hands start pressing up and down
looking for quiz..haha..
i found a quite interesting one i guess..
it entitled..

WILL YOUR TRUE LOVE FIND YOU ?

and yea...asking alot of question ..
haha..will show yea..

Do you belong to any online dating sites?

Yes, just one
Yes, a few
No, none

When your friends want to go out, how often do you decide to stay home instead?

Hardly ever
50% of the time or more
About 25% of the time

In your opinion, dating is:

A fun way to get to know people
A bit of a pain, but necessary
Total torture

When was the last time you had a date?

In the last few weeks
In the last few months
It's almost too long to count

Would you ever try speed dating or a lunch meetup for singles?

Maybe, if you were feeling desperate
Probably not
Sure

Your friends are mostly:

In serious relationships
Casually dating
Perpetually single

How many nights do you spend out of the house each week (either alone or with friends)?

2 or 3
1, if you're lucky
4 or 5, at least

lols...i think i've got the rights to keep my choices secret..=p
here's the result which i dunno should i trust or not...
kinda anooying...
It says...
MY LOVE WILL FIND ME EVENTUALLY...

Your True Love Will Find You Eventually

You definitely put yourself out there a little - but you could be doing more.

If you're truly looking for love, try doing more things and meeting more people.

You don't have to actively look for love, you just need to stay active.

Be out there a little more, and the right person will find you!

Will Your True Love Find You?

POeTs..

2008-06-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

well..
its English class when we're asked to be poets.
my group was me, jonas , aaron , kenric and one more person if i'm not wrong..
thanks to miss.esther of cause for giving us this chance and
leading us all these while..
thankiu !

Life..

Another Day dreaming under the sunshine,
another day gone and wasted.
Once again our life slips past the fine line,
between fufilment and fustration.

The suicidal man knows not,
of the gift he receives at birth.
takes for granted even what kings have sought,
a fool, who deserves damnation.

When death comes knocking at one's door,
only then does one truly understand,
that life is precious and worth living for,
It is beautiful, and god-given.

For Me ?

2008-06-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

It was downhill for me these times...and a senior of mine...a trusted one and of cause a friend..

texted me asking me to read post she posted.. its about me... yea.. i got this down

pretty bad...but i guess its just the way it is now..thanks sincerely...

For Jacky

June 20 2008

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad,

Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and to be loved.

Should you grieve the passing of another day,

Think of the woman who works twelve hours a day , 7 days a week to feed her children.

Should you let yourself break down,

Think of the people who is the last , the lost and the least.

Should you think that you are not appreciated,

Think of the people whose contributions only known when they are dead.

Should you find yourself at loss, pondering what life is about, asking what is my purpose?

Be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to know the opportunity

Should you find yourself victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness, or insecurities,

Remember things can go worst, you could be a part of them.

Should you think you have made a mistake, disappoint others, or offended someone,

Discover it within yourself and learn from them.

Should you think the world is dark , gloomy and scary a place,

Go out to the fields and stare into the sun.

When you are through with all this,

You should realize,

we shouldn’t fail ourselves.

Written by an3sidora
Alot Of Thanks.. I'll Improve..
And I'm Sorry To Peoples I Hurt..
And stuff I Did Wrong..
Sorry..

Labour-Day = Holi-Day

2008-05-04T01:07:00.000-07:00

Labour-Day = Holi-Day

Well kinda fun..
went to to to sematan ! but was a lil sick...
so did enjoy but sick ... so okie okie only lorh...
went to a retreat called smth bank union...
everything was perfect..

the place the view the facilities everything !
just one thing wasnt nice at all...
and it sucks so much..
THE MANAGEMENT & STAFF
there is a total bullshit !It Sucked so much my aunt complaint them and they like didnt bother...
they totally suck...
show u the pic of the staff tht sucks !See That Everything was really nice...too bad the staff and management ther really sucks !
they so money face also...
wear shirt to swim got fine.. enter the retreat also needa pay...even parking !
cant believe ppl lidat..
run this kinda place...

but tht didnt spoil my day ...
went on home at nite with a
sunset journey...
hehehe...

Nice sunset and stuff la..
and actually saw a Mat RempIt on the way home !
took a pic too..haha...=p
totally it was a nice day ... i guess...

One Sweet Day..

2008-04-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

Today went to confession...
i'm a free thinker...
but u can visit Justin's blog at my links to see wad i mean..

haha....
on the way back in the car cun cun got nice scenery..
and mix.fm played my quite fav song..
it sings bout life... i guess..hehe....
here is starts lidat...

Teddy Geiger - Seven Days Without You

Sitting Here Can't Take The Hours...
Waiting For The sun To Kiss The Sea...
Shapes Like a Swallow Drifting Along With the wind...

and the song goes on....reli nice song..
This One is The second shot i took nth much more than a relaxing scene..
then went home go sleep!!
was quite an emo today..
ppls says so ..
i was jus ok..ok..
ok... haha..

then then when i woke up my phone's ringtone rings like crazy..
then i saw its got 33 new messages... haha...from one person..
1 from another...the other one from my lil sis...=p

then then...ermm writes this post to shout it out laud..=p
and and..i'm hungry...this is wad i get...
but i cant finish it anymore..
its a lil too much..

Dont's U Think So Too ??

2008-03-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

A Story Untold..:P

well on friday i thought of it'll be happy lo ! yay ! friday !!
last day of exam ma..
<<< see that happy sleeping maid ?
he's lovin it.. friday ! slep less in skol go home early slep !!
sad this is i cant see my sis she's got meeting and stuff...she was a lil pissed cause of me the other nite..
so fine lor... my fault wad to do...

actually i got meting also la.. so meet lor..
was fast and detailed.. nth much.. just bla bla bla..
who's goin tomoro..will tell u much later .. hehe..

so after tht walk to church lor.. see got anything or not..
macam routine lidat .. every friday must go ther wan..=.= then nth ..
but suddenly ! saw 2 spoilers of my day came walking like a GRRR!!
they they very wanted to be ther lidat... man ..i hate tht..
spoils my day totally okie !

btw i was hoping to see ppls ther... but turned out i saw monsters !

then go to the American Service Force thingy..
for exchange student wan la..
but so so boling la.. nth to do ..
see americans chicks which i'm not intrested in..
haihs...wad a day..

came home... slep till 7.pm++ lor..
when wake up so dark ald..
see... accidentally take but look
nice leh..
wait for my sis to reply me..
she replied..telling me sadd sadd stuff..
was obviously making my day worst..

i gotta cheer her up even when i'm dying..
i dun mind..as long as she's happy..
well i told her tht wadever it takes for her smile..
i guess i wana keep tht..

we kinda quarreled la.. but "NIO" (let) her win lor..
ald sob sob ther..
i also bo pien ah...
KNS lor me... :\

but kim cheered me up lor..
my good fren..hehe..thanks kim !!
=p

then nite boom up boom down lidat... walau... write post to release..
one of the hurting nites in month 4 day 28 ..gosh !
what A tErrIbLe d@y ...
But ToMoRo'II B3 BetT3R..

School's Life !

2008-03-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

Well ...
first of all...speaking of class
my class ? ..its like wow...what a good class how great...
lets see how great it started in the morning..hhehe..

Sleepy Dude Who Sleep's Every Single Day ?
Yeah Guess So ..
Wad can i say ?
sleep more..
sumtimes i do too..but not alot ! hahakz..

we've got sum guys who got blurred on everything....
and finally decided to stare
tht's a lil scarry...trust me..haha...
lets see mr.blur ...besides ppl call him ah tom..
he's our class's ta ke.. Big Boss..
mr.monitor..=p

He might be th"ONE"..
lols..
NEXT !!

yeah , might be wondering why is he so ?
let me show u the reason... this is why...

YES add maths.... Sadd...

and yes !! finally add maths...no wonder ppl go crazy nowadays...its terrible...gosh.
and when u got bored of add maths and all the other subject...
how bout a little tattoo..haha.

with blur ink..=p
cool!
how bout a crazy guys...who owns a macbook and have it at school all the time and
taking pictures and videos of wads happening in the class ??cool huh..
lets see...he's actually sitting with the most annoying guy in the class or should i say the schools ?
preetty much super annoying !
Yeah..super..=p

next on...
lets see..
after schools... hehe...some ballerz decides to show their ultimate skills ?
and i think they came showing up cause of the cool weather we've got in this little
country...cool..

Then after schoold...besides ballerz...u got ppl who hang out at a place called THE BELL..
i wonder its a great place to hang out..but ...
haha...u got shiny teeth my fren..lols...
great life huh !
yea..i hope its so...

Leave A Comen Alrite !
Thanks !

My Life

2008-03-05T03:46:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE

I’m going to tell you a story. My Story. A Story of change, grief, trials and finally hardship. It might sound absurd, but its just life.

I’m a thirteen-year-old boy. I have no life. Literally. Don’t get me wrong here. I used to have a happy one back then when my grandparents were alive, but now my life is a mess.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. I used to live in Manila when my grandparents died. I was one of the many illegitimate children born there. My grandparents were Filipinos but my dad was a member of the Royal Navy. I hardly saw my father till after my grandparents passed away. However, I did have a happy time in The Philippines with my grandparents. I love them deeply.

That all changed when they died. They took a part of me with them. I watched their condition got worst day by day by a car-accident. It broke my heart into pieces.After they passed away, my father came and took me away from the only life I had ever known. He brought me to his hometown, Kuching, Sarawak on his own ship. I had never been so close to my dad so I was lonely the entire journey, still trying to deal with the profound loss of my grandparents. It got worst when we reached Sarawak. I was sent to live with one of my uncles. I was a stranger there. I was forced to a new school, forced to learn new language and adapt to the new surroundings. My uncle’s family was okay but I was lonely. Very lonely. I spent most of my time locked up in my own room, crying and looking at the picture of my grandparents, I really miss them. My uncle’s family did not know how to help me, so they kept away from me. I spent three miserable months in that place.

Then things got better. I was sent to live with another relative. My aunt was a widow with an only daughter. I had liked my cousin from the first time I laid my eyes on her. The feeling was mutual and we became very close in no time at all. She was the first person I could really talk to since my grandparent’s death. She had also experienced the same sense of loss when her father died. Together with her mom, she helped me deal with my grief. They become like a second family to me. Wads lost have started to return to me.

I had starting to adapt to a new life here. Everyday I would get up early in the morning and go to school with my cousin. School was fun with my cousin around. I also made a lot of new friends. After school we would hang out together at the mall or any other places of interest. My new friends immediately accepted me as one of them. Life was really returning to normal.

Just as I was beginning to enjoy life again, the second bombshell dropped. Out of the blue, a lawyer came to my aunt’s house and said that my maternal relative wanted custody of me. My jaw literally dropped when I heard that. I had never ever met them before ! All that my grandparents had told me was that they had an argument with my relatives and that day they had never spoken to each other since that day. It had happened before I was even born.

The lawyer said that my relatives are looking for me since they heard the death of my grandparents. Now that they had found me, they wanted me to live with them, as I was my grandparent’s only grandson. I told the lawyer frankly on the spot that I did not wanted to go and he only nodded grimly before departing.

A few days later the lawyer returned, saying they my relatives was taking the matter to court. We were all shocked and my aunt said she would fight for me, whatever the cost. She hired the best lawyer she could find and the date for the custodial battle was set.

However, even from the beginning, we could see that we are going to lose. The judge was clearly sided with my relatives from the first day. My heart sank with the knowledge that I was going to leave behind everything I had come to love again. Sure enough, at the end of it all, the judges ruled they my relatives had the right. We’ve lost.

Saying goodbye was hard. Very hard. I couldn’t help crying for hours, knowing I might never see my beloved aunt and cousin again. It has almost as painful as the time when my grandparents passed away. Everything I loved was in Kuching. I just couldn’t bear leaving it all behind. It had become part of me. Finally I had to say goodbye. One last hug, one last look.” Remember Me”, my cousin whispered. Then I was gone. And my heard broke again. It hurt so much.

Now, as I’m telling you these things, I’m in an aero plane, on my way back to the Philippines. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me, and I really hate all this. I have no idea why God is letting these things happen to me. I hate it. I Guess I just have to start over and hope for the best, for to grow is to chance, and, as you can see, chance is inevitable life. And yes I promised myself I would , yes I would come back to where my second family are.

WE ALL HAVE BEEN PLACED ON THIS EARTH TO DISCOVER OUR OWH PATH, AND WE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF WE LIVE SOMEONE ELSE’S IDEA OF LIFE.

Jame Van Praagh

Distance Will Never Be The Limit When We'll Meet
Again Nor Where The Rainbow Ends But The Sky.

Friends

2008-03-05T03:04:00.000-08:00

Friends ..... To My Besties..

This Story Is Entitled FRIENDS And Is Dedicated To My Best friends.

To All The People “Appreciate Wad U Got Now Before It’s Too Late.

Enjoy The Story …

FRIENDS

“I’m, Glads. And you’re?”

“I’m Jack.” I introduced myself.
This is the moment when I got to know Glads, a pretty and quiet, cute girl. Our friendship started when we we’re taken into Cross High School She also stays just near my

home. That afternoon I went to her house. In my mind, I thought she must have been raised difficultly by his parents. “Jack, you know that I have always been alone at home?” She asked. I just shook my head, saying no in my heart.

“I’m alone, I’m lonely. Mom and Dad always had been working in other country. At home it’s me, my maids, my driver and my brother.”

I took note of every single thing she told me. I was quite down for her, but what could I do?

“Wads your bro’s job?” I asked trying to distract her away; afraid she would just break down and cry.

“Doctor” she answered her just a word.

Our conversation just stopped like that, as if we were d

ead.

“Glads I think you’ll just have to keep holding on and face all this. This all happens because God wanted it to be. Everything that happened and will happen is God will. Furthermore u got me k? I will be there when u need me, Promise” I’ve told her that without even giving it a second thought.

I really hoped what I’ve told her will relive her more, eve

n though it’s really difficult and complicated for her.

That’s all I could give her because my life isn’t lon

g anymore, it’s just a step from where I came from. I’ve got problems with my health, my kidneys are damaged badly. I had to visit the hospital every now and then

to take my treatment, cleaning my blood. I thought of my Mom and Dad working so hard jus for me, my treatment costs. According to Dr. Derek the specialist doctor for kidneys and internal organs says; both of my kidneys are in bad shape. I might be saved if someone donated their kidneys for me.

“Happy Birthday Glads! “ I shouted to her, I was happy for her at that time.

I said “Ermmm…Glads I dun really have any present for you. I’m sorry” She gave me a kiss, saying “Its okay, for me you’re the best present I’ll ever receive. You’re the most precious present I’ll ever have” I was really touched, tears were at its limit. I couldn’t do anything but gave her a hug. She then said “Why don’t we go out for dinner next week, my birthday party. Just you and me?” I replied slowly saying “I’m sorry Glads I need a visit the hospital next week for some reason. Please don’t ask wad is it k

?”

Now it’s been a week since I’ve been in the hospital. I think of her, a week seemed like years since we’ve met. Even though it’s hard for me, I was quite happy when I heard I got a kidney. I’m saved! I was so happy when the Doctor told me there was an “Angel” who donated her kidney to me. I was told by the Doctor my savior had already rested in peace in a car accident, she wrote her will to me. I was blurred with that, I didn’t anyone would do that for me. I tried to look for this “Angel” who saved my life but the hospital’s management it’s a contaminated file. Saying that it’s “”Top Secret File””, where I don’t have any rights or access to this piece of information.

After a while I thought of not doing the operation for my kidney without knowing the person who saved my life. Dr. Derek couldn’t do anything but to let me know. After a while he came out with a file.

Glads! Oh my god! She’s…I broke down, my tears just kept falling. Then he brought Glads’s parents into my ward. They were having a bad time too. It hurt so much that I cried and cried myself to sleep that night; I’ve felt the purest of pain. I couldn’t forget wad happened. The next day I woke with tears, knowing that my operation is done. Its over, I can live now. Even I know there’s no point living without her, but I promised with my soul I will like everyday to the fullest.

Glad’s parents was visiting me, where they told me they regretted

everything they’ve done and it’s too late for them to turn back.

With everything Glads left behind, it’s not less. I donated one of the kidneys to the Children’s Hospital. I hoped there are more people out there who are similar to her, for she's the one i respect , love and i'll never let go. She was buried by the cliff of the sea where we both used to hang out. With her thoughts in my mind , when i visit that place where we belong.As she left , till today i regretted not telling her that she is the best present I'll ever have.She’s my best friend. She’s fantasy now, I would never have a friend like that in life anymore. I promised myself to be her best friend again next life, I promise

FRIENDS ARE FOREVER, YOU AND ME ARE FORVER

Below Are The Quotes I’d Receive From Various Friends Fom Other Parts Of The World. Different Colors From Different Friends. The First is From Me.

"If all my friends were
to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them".

If you judge a friend, you have no time to love them.

"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies".

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an oppourtunity

Friends are born, not made..

The happiest moments
my heart knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters".

Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."

"True friendship

is never serene."

For this story i wrote, i think there's a picture which should be belonging here on the blog.Thanks Gladys.For Everything.

Valentine Days's Story.

2008-03-04T04:52:00.001-08:00

12 February 2007

Valentine Days's Story.

Story For Valentine's Day 2007.....All The Best To Everyone Out There.....HAPPY VALENTINE DAY'S TO ALL TEENAGERS , BOYS AND GIRLS.....

Yes I Do , I Love You.....

It was funny how we even got to know each other. I knew her through a close friend of mine.

At that point of time, a group of friends and I were very much in an online chatting, and that's how I got to know her.

When I first new her, she was funny, funny in a very cute way. She said lots of things to cheer me up, and sms all the time. We smsed day and night, we sms when we had the time. At that point of time, my life revolved around it, and talking to her.

We never met, until one day. When she suggested that a few of us go out for a drink or something. I was nervous, because I haven't seen her before. I was attracted to his online personality, I don't know what she would be like. I was afraid she might stop talking to me altogether just because I wasn't good-looking. I was really paranoid.

Eventually, I agreed to go along with them. She was cute, and real quiet the first time I met her. I was shy, and so was she. But the first thing that I noticed was his eyes, that pair of eyes, is something that I will never forget.

During the drinking session, I couldn't help but to keep noticing her. She was sitting near. I didn't want to be at the same table as her, I was shy, yes I was. I kept glancing over to her, just to see how attractive she was.

Dinner. It was just the three of us. My friend, she, and I. She was sitting opposite me. I was playing with my phone , and she kept doing things that actually attracts me. She'd give a silly smile to me after that. She was totally cute.

From then on, we talked, and sent messages to each other, almost everyday. I didn't know how I was feeling towards her, I was really confused. At that point of time, I rejected a lot of girl cause of her. I was feeling frustrated, and lost.She was there to help me through it. She was there to talk to me. She was there to stand up for me. She said, "Never Give Up, and I'll show her what a real girlfriend should be like." I felt tears welling up in my eyes, i couldn't cry. Could I have fallen for her?

She offered to "act" as my girlfriend just so I could spite my ex, I turned his offer down though. But I couldn't help but to feel extremely sweet within, love appears.

We grew closer, and she started opening up to me. She told me about the boy he liked. Initially, I didn't think much about it. But gradually, as she opened up to me about how she was hurting because of that boy that he liked, I started to feel her pain. I was hurting too, probably twice as much as she does.

I thought to myself, " Why, just why am I feeling this way? " This couldn't be true, I've only known him for a couple of months, how could I have fallen for her? No way, that's not possible.

But my emotions proved me wrong. I started feeling more, started hurting more. She told me she was sad, she told me it hurts. Each time I hear her say that, I feel painful. I cried, I cried because it was hurting and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to heal her, I wanted her to know, that there are people out there who cares for her, and loves her so much for who she is. I wanted to be there for her always.

She started to withdraw. At a point of time, she became a little cold. She became numb. We didn't talk much at then, her words were all cold. And I knew, she wasn't happy, she was hurting all along. I felt very helpless, I couldn't do anything to cheer her up.

She asked if I was in love with someone, cause it seemed like I was. She probed further, but no matter how she asked, I never revealed who the person was. I didn't want to scare her away, I didn't want her to look at me in a different perspective. She asked me, who's that person? I only said, " She knows who am I and who u are. "

She started healing after a while, or rather, he became craze towards love. On New Year Eve, she invited my friends and I to join her and her friends at a place which is “The Colors”. I went along, together with my friends. My friends left early at then. It was just me, my friend and the rest of his friends.

I had too much to drink, and a little bit high on alcohol. I drank quite a bit. She was sitting opposite me at first. At 12am, she was sitting beside me. She was popping balloons in my face. People were spraying confetti in my face. I was looking at her, and she used his hand to wipe the confetti off my face. Though I wasn't that sober, I felt a little tingle in my body.

I felt her hand against my face. That feeling was almost magical, it was like as though he was telling me, " Hey, I care for you, Don't Be Like That"

She had too much to drink after a while. Again, she was sitting beside me. We were both near drunk. If I didn't recall wrongly, I had her face near mine, I was whispering something to her [I LOVE YOU]. Constantly asking if she was okay, She didn't seem to sane to me. Her eyes were closed, and all she did was to gently nod to my questions. She looked so innocent, and sweet plus cute.

After that night, I felt as though I was crazy about her. That feeling was driving me nuts. It was sweet, yet painful. She started asking me out more often, when I told her I couldn't make it, she always sounded sad, disappointed. Though the times she asked me out weren't considered a date (because there were other people with her), I still felt sweet. There was this once, we went out together, just the two of us, I felt like I was the luckiest boy ever. He pestered me to go along with her to her friend's place, I turned her down. Again, she gave me that look. I don't know what that look meant. She seemed mad at me, a little disappointed. I don't know how I should react to that.

We gradually text each other everyday. My cell phone never left my side, as it represent her.

It was the sweetest yet the most horrible time in my life. I felt like I needed her, I felt like I wanted her. But deep down inside, I would never gather enough courage to tell her how I truly feel about her. Times when I got, I got drunk because of her. I got hurt because I was hurting so bad inside. I wanted her so bad, but I knew, I knew that I will never be good enough for her. She's one hell of girl, she's good looking. What am I? Who am I to ask for someone like him? I told myself, all I can do, is just be there for her. Be there when she needs someone, be there when he needs a shoulder to lean on.

I thought that would be easy. But know, I started hurting, day and night, I was crying, but I didn't know why. I just felt this intense pain within. I didn't really know why I was hurting so badly. I just felt, I would never deserve such a sweet person.

I felt like I could die, if I didn't talk to her for a day. I talked to her over Msn every night. Even when she was busy, we'd talk on Msn. We seldom went out ready. On her free days, we'd talk whole day together. Though seldom it was just the two of us, her company still seemed to be the best . I savored every moment with her.

I'd wait for hours, just to see her.

Nights when she didn't come online, I felt like my world was crashing. I was always hesitating, hesitating whether I should text her. I didn't want her to know I needed her, I didn't want her to know everything. I was afraid that she might know that I was starting be to dependent on her.

I tried to give up. Because I knew this was a love that will never blossom. I will never be good enough for her. My heart tried turning cold, and the word LOVE doesn't exist in my dictionary anymore.

Till today, I'm still hanging on, hanging to something that never existed.

I'm contented still, with just the way things are now. Just her by my side, just her as my best friend, just be there for her when she ever needs someone.

I'll do whatever I can, just to bring out that smile of her.

I chose to love her in silence, for in silence, I'll never face her rejection. I chose to love her in his loneliness, for in her loneliness, no one owns her, but me.Maybe one day I'll tell her Yes I Do, I Love You.

"Just Love Doesn't Have An Ending"